Dorothy's writings

Who?

2011-04-25T23:46:00.001+02:00

Who am I?

How often do you ask yourself that? Think about it..

I feel I’ve lost myself right now,

Dora.

Tal-Linja!

2010-11-23T17:06:00.000+01:00

Every body's talking bout this 'Arriva' thing in Malta and the public transport reform... well as much as i would like it to happen asap... I must say i will miss the beloved yellow and orange monsters polluting the island!

There are tons of videos on youtube and they have left an impression on almost every tourist who visited Malta both positively and negatively and although i moan alot because i think most of the drivers need to realize how important they are to the image of Malta and Maltese ppl I will still miss them becaus they have almost become part of our culture!

Words of Wisdom

2010-09-18T00:10:00.005+02:00

Keep your head up - Tupac Amaru Shakur

A true philosophical thinker who had loads of potential, the world lost him. His lyrics move me.

Dee

Random Post

2010-09-04T14:32:00.004+02:00

An old oriental saying states that every thousand mile journey initiates from the first step... I fully agree.

Dee

Spread good vibes

2010-08-05T01:36:00.006+02:00

We all get such a great feeling when praised and we all need it sometimes, but we gotta find our own way to get it... by simply doing stuff that makes us happy and focusing more on ourselves.

Today i was on my laptop in bed and i was surfing through the net while chatting with a friend of mine and i found these amazing videos on a website called inmatesgottalent.com.

Inmates are always considered to be criminals and nobody cares about their talents or the other good stuff they can offer within a society, and most of the time its because they were never given the chance when they where young... and they will most probably lessen the chance to get opportunities even more after being released from prison. They seem to be doomed for life which is simply not fair.

So this genius as i consider him, started working along with inmates to show everyone from all around the globe that inmates do have talent and if they are not given the chance to show it they will never even find it within themselves. Being praised and applauded makes them happy it spreads good vibes and the chance of them leaving prison totally different persons is widened.

In life, even though it is not fair but i highly believe that EVERY single person on earth is good at something... yet unfortunately a big percentage never get the chance to find it within themselves.

I write i talk and i want to motivate people i want to leave an impression on some and even if its one lost soul i am happy.

We must be really thankful for what we have in life because there are so many people struggling out there its unfair to moan about every other thing that bugs us!

I want to make a change in my own way and i will... and as i said everybody needs praise and i am willing to spread good vibes... even if people think I'm a dreamer, which well i know i am, but its no downfall baby!

:))

Dee

My work

2010-08-04T00:07:00.003+02:00

I dont know why i really dont like re-reading my work

please leave feedback and if its plain boring say so i need the energy

xoxox

Dee

Short scribble i jotted down

2010-08-03T23:56:00.002+02:00

I’m in jail... locked up in here’s left my mind more messed up than the damn universe out there.
I never graduated, never got the chance.. it was what i dreamed of when i was a kid though...
People looked down on me all my life and my only regret is that i never proved any of them wrong.
In life when a person dies u know, everything goes on as if nothing happen... the butterfly still flies around and the birds still sing along, and that is exactly the way i feel locked up in here... everything and everybody has moved on while im stuck here for a crime i did for every right reason i could think of. And i’m paying for it the hard way.
I was sentenced 10 years in prison and every minute spent here is a living hell. But as mom always said... everything happens for a reason and being in here has made me grow in ways i never thought i could.
When i was free all i thought of was how i could get the money to eat and smoke... i never got the chance to love myself, let alone someone else. I never found the time to think about stuff i really needed to or to literally get to know me!
The jail im locked up in is one of the toughest ones i know with inmates convicted of rape, drug lords and serial killers.
Guards never act nice and all the men in here including me do not trust each other. Everyone in here is alone but spending most of our time together in our own little cliques, we tend to get to know each other.
This has really made me notice something i never thought i would! As i said all them men stuck in here come from various different backgrounds and if given the chance we would tear each other but for our own good most of us will stay sane and ive noticed that each and every inmate has got a certain something that he could teach.

Yet strangely enough loads of ex convicts actually en up in the same path as before or end up dying like my uncle did just 2 yrs after his realise. It’s such a waste of life and nobody cares enough.. but since we are going through the same things, we should be given the opportunity to teach the teens who look up to us.

Thing is motivation only lasts a few moments and as im staring at the grey concrete ceiling above my in my cramped room, i simply realise that when im out of here ill still be the ’ex-convict’ but hey at least i wont let my kids turn out the way i did.

Books!!

2010-07-23T23:48:00.008+02:00

So growing up i HATED reading with PASSION i thought of it as being a chore but nowadays i usually have like 3 books which im reading during the same period! I love reading and even though i love it so much i blame it on crushing my own creativity to write so i really need to work on catching up with that... Anyways i have decided to add a list of some books i've read and loved... I am a huge fan of thrillers and crime stories but i have fell in loooooove with a range of books available on a website called littleblackdressbooks.com i read them at night to fall asleep happy lol

anyhow here's the list...;))

Hard core list :

1. Exile - Richard North Patterson

2. The Attack - Yasmina Khadra

3.The Simple Truth- David Baldacchi

4. That Mean Old Yesterday - Stacey Patton

5. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

6. Justa a Boy - Richard McCann

Girly list:

1.Tangled up in you -Rachel Gibson

2. It must be love - Rachel Gibson

3.The Night Buffalo - Guillermo Arrianga

4. Honey Trap - Julie Cohen

5. A Place Called Here - Cecilia Ahern

Currently reading :

Simply irresistible - Rachel Gibson

The Warlord's Son - Dan Fesperman

Have you read any of those mentioned? I dont usually read books written by famous authors it kinda puts me off but i got caught up and i loved Dan brown's work... i need to read his other books cuz im so into his style...

Anyhow im up for some ideas cuz i need to get me some new books even different genres maybe...

Any suggestions? your faves??

Dee

xox

People in Malta

2010-06-29T02:50:00.005+02:00

Being the observer that i am i find it amusing staring at people in different places and circumstances and sometimes its so funny i have decided to add a list of people i will define as Maltese.

I am generalising and exaggerating, yes, but everything mentioned below is true.

Different types of Maltese People:

Tal-pepe – These mainly include people who speak English instead of Maltese because they think they are of a higher class than others Mostly come from Sliema but they can also come from other places like Rabat and Madliena

Hamalli - These are found all around Malta. With all due respect usually hamalli have no fashion sense and are willing to wear anything from black lip liner to black see trough tights as leggings showing off their behinds to everybody passing by

Well off and trashy – these mainly include people who love horses. I love horses so don’t get me wrong but what i mean is that these people think that since they’ve got money they’ve got it all. They usually wear huge gold bracelets and enormous gold rings

Well off and Classy – classy people are found all over Malta but they usually have great houses in lovely locations. They wear amazing clothes and manage to look great in almost anything. Classy people can be easily seen having lunch or dinner at lovely restaurants.

Middle class – i consider myself to be here. Middle class people in Malta struggle to breath as it seems that we are about to drown but we still have the strength to survive, we do our best to look good. But we can buy anything from the local market to any other clothes shop. We tend to do our best to look good with hair looking like we just come out of the hairdressers but with chipped nail polish.

Beautiful women - found all around our tiny island. Being Mediterranean having to deal with the climate which makes our hair look like a broom we need to keep up our appearances so we tend to do our best. Maltese women seem to have big lovely eyes and amazing tans and thick hair i consider Maltese women to be better than average looking.

Lazy Men – oh my these are mainly found in shops which serve tea and bread or traditional cheesecakes [pastizzi] these men usually work for the government so hence they don’t work at all, or they are simply unemployed, oh i almost forget they can also be unemployed to the government but working illegally so they can benefit from social services.

Environmentalists – I consider these to be amazingly cool people who usually include men with long or shaved hair hence they use no hair products, they wear loose linen pants these are very limited amongst the Maltese isles though

Church fanatics – gosh as rare as the environmentalists are, these seem to be luring around every corner here! These mainly include people aged 60 and over but there are some exceptions of youngsters like these. They usually work their behinds off for their local festa as we call it but then they can swear all day there are also others who think they are all holy and try to change the world but then i can assure you they are the worst people in the whole wide world.

Junkies - these mainly include people my age but age is not really a matter here. Being such a tourist attraction in Malta we get the best DJ’s in the world every year performing live and drugs follow every party. It is such a shame. They give out such a bad impression.

Footie fanatics - Even though in Malta we do not have the best players or teams we do have some great supporters. Supporters of local fottie teams are mainly found in B’Kara Valetta and Sliema whilst foreign fottie fans are found all round the islands.

Mad bout Politics – I almost forgot this. In Malta living in such a tiny island we tend to over exaggerate somethings and when it comes to politics in Malta even families can get ruined I’ve seen families split up because of this.

I can really seem to think of anymore right now... but hey those are just a few of the people one will bump into around here! Oh i love Malta

Dee
x

Insomnia

2010-06-25T18:10:00.002+02:00

Precicely 1:54 am... staring at the ceiling in bed moving around i cant seem to find peace... I dunno y i do this to myself but i cant stop thinking bout certain things and im DEAD tired!
I’m listening to the fan in darkness and silence and i cant seem to stop myself...
Throughout my life i’ve been betrayed by an amazing amount of people both very close and rather distant which have al left a huge impression on the way i think and act. I was deceived and i know everybody goes through hardships but being such a sensitive person at heart i feel i was deeply moved by these actions.
I really do wear a mask and pretend i am not bothered and sometimes its true but during dark nights like this one deep black thoughts haunt me and i seem to cover myself up in armour promise myself i will not trust anybody anymore.. which is hard. I am bothered.
Whenever i get a phonecall my heart starts pounding and i feel blood pumping through my body and by the time i reach for my cell phone i’d be shaking... thinking bout what could have gone wrong then when i say hello and everything is fine my face regains its natural colour.
Sometimes i feel like a slave... you know... the way a slave probabbyl felt when his master called. Yeah.
I think i have been controlled alot. I am so insecure right now. I can feel alone even when i am surrounded by people. And nights like this one scare me.
As Tupac says after every dark night theres a brighter day and since writing makes me feel so much better i guess i can get myself to sleep now.

[Shaggy - No matter how you're sad and blue, There's always someone who has it worse than you] Cheer up pretty babe x

It's true!

2010-06-23T13:14:00.003+02:00

One day a tiger will be named after me... I love you Cher may all your dreams come true

First impressions

2010-06-21T15:04:00.005+02:00

Don't you feel great when you look good?

I am a proud woman who looks after herself. Maybe its the society I was born within or the huge impact media has on my generation but i think a woman must take pride in her looks and do her very best to look good hence feel good!

I love make up and even though i do feel guilty sometimes bout using it i simply cant stop myself. Make up is a gift Egyptians gave every woman on earth and i think we should all take advantage of it.

And the hair... whether its short, long, curly, straight, braided whatever... hair makes a woman beautiful... I'm so tired of looking at women who say they feel intimidated by others... I'm tired of looking at obese ladies with perfect faces with all due respect Curvy is beautiful... I am no skinny lady what soever I've got curves all over and i love them but Curves are healthy and we must be healthy maintain a balance so we can look good and feel good. Food is great i can simply orgasm to a piece of chocolate [lol] but balance is the magic word!

It really puts me off when i see women who wouldn't do their hair or apply an make up, its as if they don't have time for themselves which actually makes me think they wouldn't have time for anybody else.

We must take pride in our appearance... I'm not saying we should over do it cuz we'd end up looking like a bunch f clowns... but hey we should make an effort right?

Women should love this... Its part of being us...

that's where you truly see the connection between the heart body mind and soul x

Healthy clean and beautiful -body, Happy Confident and feeling great - heart, not overdoing it and being in control - mind, maintaining harmony - soul.

It just hit me

2010-06-15T16:11:00.001+02:00

Don't you feel that you have built up a wall around you to protect yourself and you actually end up pushing people away from you unintentionally?

Random tought

2010-06-11T00:50:00.002+02:00

Men are the best collegues a woman can have.

World Cup

2010-06-04T00:52:00.003+02:00

The world cup is just one week away and i am so excited! I love the world cup and i cant wait to see the opening of it all besides its being held in Africa for the first time so i rly dunno what to expect!

I love the world cup because even though its a competition everybody around the globe will be watching and its simply fascinating! It is something almost everybody loves and besides to know that people from all over the globe are watching the same footie match at the exact same time as you is something that makes me feel as if we are all united as one... the whole globe...

xoxox
Dee

Questions in ma mind

2010-06-04T00:44:00.000+02:00

As im lying in bed again listenin to Damian Marley im trying to sort stuff out in my effed up mind hehe... there are stuff i feel attached to and ive never experienced them well at least as far as i know. For instance a simple example is my LOVE to Africa! I’m Maltese... I’m white and i feel attached to Africa as if it was my own homeland i don’t get it. I also ave got a deep love for America especially south America.

My uncle once told me a story which happened to him see his son had a baby girl but had trouble with the mother and she never let them see the kid. Shes now 6 yrs old and doesn’t know her father let alone her granddad. But he once met her on the street and she ran hugging him as if she knew him... like some kind of forca made her go to him... she ddint know but it was her granddad and she still has no clue... and to that i can kinda relate.

I don’t get it why do i feel so attached to a place I’ve never been to sometimes i wonder wheter my ancestors where African or Arab cuz my family members from my mother’s sideare very tanned and dark skinned whilst my dad’s side i suspect he’s got British ancestors as hes blonde and Maltese people are not blonde at all!
Sometimes i believe in reincarnation or maybe i simply love to believe in it and i might blame it on that but i dunno!

What if?

2010-06-03T09:24:00.004+02:00

As i'm listening to an artist I love while he's speaking about walking on the road to Zion [Damian Marley] i start to think...

I've got this huge mix up in my mind. Throughout my whole life i feel i was brainwashed, and being a physics student who is curious about every little thing i feel that society tricked me into believing things that are... at least... half true...

I'm talking about religion.

Living and growing up in a very conservative country, which for one thing, doesn't even allow divorce i feel that most of the people simply act with religion in mind. In Malta the vast majority is Roman Catholic.

I really dont feel i belong within it anymore. I've got this mix up in my head as I am very deeply interested in the way people from other cultures live and act. And i can really notice that religion is something so very consistent in the way they do things.

See yesterday night i was reading about Rastafarian religion which is Christianity with a twist, they believe Africa is the home land Jah [God] promised the people hence Zion whilst Babylon which is the west is corrupted.

I feel humans have all been trying to find something to live for. It's very complicated and well it is positive but sometimes its taken into extremes!

I feel so angry at people who thought me religion when i was very young... they have literally brainwashed me with their ignorance and i am still battling with it. I remember once a sister told me that i should literally slam the door at Jahova witnesses face if they come to my house to speak about their beliefs. Thats not something u tell a little kid! Some of my family members are Jahova witnesses and i was brought up thinking they had some kind of disease because of the old sister's ignorance! pure ignorance.

I think religion must be taken into a deeper level. We must actually FORGET the word religion which is full of laws and regulations and become spiritual. Oriental beliefs are based on that and i guess that we should try to copy them in some ways. I also highly admire Native American's beliefs in mother nature... they did everything to maintain harmony and what did westerns do?? The exact opposite.

Throughout the ages religion was the main reason of conflicts between different people. Its so sad. Is it just me who realizes we are all innocent human beings?? All fighting to live a good life. Religion has become a system of belief based on traditions of men instead of the pusuit of friendship with God/Allah/Jah/Christ people even argue about his name!

Deep down I'm ashamed to say I'm European. Hence the name... Mediterrenean Soul.

D xoxox

My little pleasures

2010-05-31T23:01:00.007+02:00

Stuff that makes me grin...

Unity
Family
Norbert
Love
Mummy
Daddy
Music
Tupac
Writing
Uncle Ray
Nanna [grandma]
Books
Facebook
RKelly
I-pod
Footie games (world cup.. cant w8)
Txts
Wyclef Jean
Calls
Chocolate
Comments
Wine
Food
Nostalgia
Ryan
Dylan
Discovery Channel
National Geographic
Iza's Blog
Short Stories
Wierd News
My boss
Ludacris
Co-workers
Sun
Beach
Malta
Cheryl
Maltese Buses
Happy Tourists
Ginuwine
Space Jam [all time fave movie]
Shopping
Looking good
Nutella
Make-up
History
Learning
Hot baths
Lavander oil
Incense sticks/cones
Home...

Oh my the list doesnt seem to have an end!! I think i should focus more on these things to live a happy life... we all have our little pleasures dont we...

What are your top five?? i cant seem to decide! xoxox

Tattoos

2010-05-29T18:09:00.002+02:00

I must express my deep love for tattoos... My father just got one today and i feel so happy cuz i love tats so much! Theyre the only thing that will actually die with u right? maybe its cuz ive got a fond love for symbolism dunno i simply love tats! dont u??

xoxox

Realisation

2010-05-24T16:28:00.003+02:00

Life is such a double edged reality...

in my language we say sikkina li taqta miz-zewg nahat... and its true... so true...

everyday... I am learning something new... today i have realized that life is so different from the way I see it to the way it actually is... and I think everybody struggles with this.

Every human being looks at life differently in many ways we expect certain things and the outcome is otherwise... we interpret things in different ways hence we argue and we feel let down... I'm not sure anyone can actually understand the way others see things... we've all got different visions.. yet we are all equal.

This is why i love the native american symbol of life... a man in the maze... I'm not sure if its just me... but surely no man is an island but in the end we are actually alone.

i dont know if you get me...

I feel so empty.

Wisdom vs Knowledge

2010-05-23T22:42:00.004+02:00

Avery wise man this morning told me that there is a huge difference between knowledge and wisdom. I totally agree and i have realised that i have been focusing too much on acquiring knowledge rather than wisdom... wisdom is something we all have... yet we simply need to open our mind to it and get the wheels turnin... we need to let our spirits guide us to start using the wisdom we posess... we aquire knowledge from the books yet wisdom is something everybody has but not everybody realises...

Think about it...

xoxox

Emotions

2010-05-17T22:32:00.004+02:00

When i was younger i was tought to think before i act. I dont always do that and i regret it sometimes but i was especially told to think how i would feel if someone did what i was about to do, to me... do yo get me? so i would simply try to think what others would think...

well i still do it... and i think i over-do it sometimes. I get so emotional and touched by things other people wouldnt simply care less about.

see last sunday i was looking at some lovely birds flying beneath us along with my bf and i was trying to immagine what was going through their minds... they were enjoying it and it was so sweet!

Having a father who's simply a mad footie fan i ended up enjoying watching a game of football and i LOVE the world cup! i think it is something everyone around the globe is watching at the same time which is so amazing! But the thing is... i really cant stand a loosing team! I feel so bad during the final game when a team looses and the players are crying and getting so emotional! I simply wish i could just hug them!

Another thing i am deeply touched by is whenever i see footage on the news of people who have lost their family members when tragedy strucks! our minds are so complex and i really am moved by things of this sort!

i can feel these people's pain!

Sometimes i think i'm so strange... so different but this is who i am a sensitive human being who wants to make a change at some point in time.

I am strong willed and have some great ambitions i would love to achieve so unless the world ends in 2012 i will keep being me do the stuff i love and keep aiming high.

D xoxox

Another Quote

2010-05-12T21:09:00.002+02:00

Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for. Socrates

I love this quote!

Revision!!

2010-05-10T18:32:00.004+02:00

I'm laughin at myself right now. Its so wierd how i can manage to convince myself sometimes bout certain different things.

Loads of my friends have got exams right now just like I do. and most seem to revise endlessly whilst i never manage to start revising early. I manage to leave everything for the lat minute but i think that thats just me and i should simply accept that. But instead i end up worrying that im taking things too easily n all.

I really dont know how I still manage to remain calm even if im worried! well Tomorrow i must revise endlessly to make up for last week so i can hopefully get good grades.

Goodluck to everybody whos having exams. No fun boohoo!

Quote.

2010-05-09T23:13:00.003+02:00

Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking. - Albert Einstein.

I agree... and its definately what I' currently going through with my studies. It steals away my creativity and I feel myself drifting away. Soon enough I'll regain my hollistic balance. Mind Body Heart & Soul.

Only.

2010-05-07T23:55:00.003+02:00

Growing up being an only child can only tuly be understood by people who actually went through it. I am an only child and it didnt bother me too much when i was a kid back in the days. Yet being the kind of person that i am i tend to think ahead and it made me sad to think that i would not have anyone to call brother or sister. I woulndt have anybody who will call me auntie and my kids will not have cousins from my side. It really bothered me. Especially wen considering the fact that I have a HUGE family both from my mother's side and also my father's. I've got almost twenty cousins and tons of second cousins which during my childhood i was so very close to!

When i was a kid i loved hem as if they where my own siblings but growing up i started to realise that I will never reach the level their own sibligs reach. And i will alwqays remain their cousin and nothing more which deeply bothers me even till this very day.

So sometimes i just try to find people make new friends and sometimes become overly excited by getting to know someone new because i just try to find people whom i can consider as family. I am very close to my parents and i love my bf to death but brotherly/sisterly love... sadly i will never encounter and i guess this totally explains my attitude towards certain people.

Maybe i just think too much about certain minor things but we all must find the actaul reasons which explain our own attitudes and behaviours.

Venus and Mars

2010-05-06T10:23:00.006+02:00

Well this morning i woke up to see a post by a friend of mine Iza and she posted this track by musiq soulchild and got me so hooked up i ended listening to his songs all mornin. I love slow jams. I'm into different kinds of music genres but i mostly listen to RnB, slowjams rap and hip hop they're my all time favorites. Well as I was saying i was listenin to his music song after another... and well it simply fascinates me when a man can sing about love the way he does in the song 'dont change'.

I was always tricked into believing that a man cannot love a woman on that level. Many men in my country try to portray themselves as being tough and try their best to hide their emotions. Yet my father i have learned through ages of living with my parents... is a very sensitive man. And so is my lovely boyfriend of over 3 yrs. Media also tends to portray men as being un-emotional which is so not true!

An old song i love 'when a man loves a woman' always makes me cry so bad because it explains what women actually want from men. There are so many men out there just looking for fun and us being the emotional sex keep getting hurt. I feel that women are really the strongest human beings but we're so emotional in other minor things.

I'm so glad there are still men who actually do want women for good reasons. I actually think all of them do... they just take a long time to realize. hah.

Incomplete it shall remain

2010-05-05T17:29:00.004+02:00

As everyone who read my previous blogs would realise my passion is writing and my dream has always been to publish a book well obviously more than one. I’ve got one pending but ive got a serious problem cuz when i start reading through my writing i don’t appreciate it and end up dumping it and starting another one. Somewhat like the many incomplete masterpieces found in the Vatican.

Ive been writing eversince i could write! I remember my granddad had a stapler which we didn’t have one at home and i used to write books about the umbrella and the rainbow and all the simple stuff kids hear about. I really wish i still have them.

Below is an example of something i scribbled down about a year ago and i left it unfinished. The way it will always remain.

Enjoy.

* And here I am... staring at my hot chocolate while listening to R.Kelly. Chocolate powder floats around in random motion. I’m such an observer. People think I’m a loner. I am not. I like to observe.

I have a sip sing along with slow RnB lyrics sip again and stare at the monitor infront of me.
I’m an accountant. I’m not the best mother in the world and neither the best wife. My lfe spins around randomly just like the chocolate powder in the hot chocolate infront of me.

I’m mad at myself. I’m a liar. I lied to myself a long time ago and I still suffer. I feel as if I’m losing myself in a storm and i cant seem to manage to get out. Maybe i deserve it maybe i don’t only god can say that.

All i know is I’m lost. I keep putting the blame on me.I’m sorry for the things i put you through.
As I sit here I start to think about myself. I am 30 years old and I still do not know who the woman who gave me birth was. I feel............. *

I stopped and i have no clue why. I seriously should capture my moments. Hope you liked it.

Love to Learn

2010-05-01T01:40:00.000+02:00

While i was listening to the clock... an old clock dad bought from an antique market... I decided to write something down as I am so tired I was just going to omit my blogging today.
Being the absolute random person that i am i was just thinking bout a particular person which led me to thinking bout several things that really bother me. I don’t know if it is just me but i am a very curious person who loves to learn and discover new things.

I consider myself to be very versatile and manage to interest myself in anything ranging from a football match to Plato’s philosophy, the Eco system, Buddhism, Politics... a never ending list. I have studied several subject and have got an A level in Physics and Computing whilst right now I’m studying Marketing(at a lvl) and I will be hopefully joining a course which has absolutely nothing to do with the a levels i possess. And i don’t regret it at all.

I am a person who does not particularly enjoy choosing the easy way out as i love challenges and i blame that on my very competitive character which is often a downfall.
Hence being me i find it impossible for a person to be living such a low standard of living not working, barely knowing how to do anything, lack basic knowledge and not care to improve!
Maybe it just depends on one’s character and thirst to know more but if one is at the bottom of the bottle how can he want to stay there. We are human beings and as humans we tend to aim higher try new stuff learn how to do new things and be curious to know more. Even apes have that instinct!

I pity these people and i seriously wish they could see the beauty of discovering and learning. My grandma always says that knowledge is the only thing NOBODY can take away from you. They can take your liberty, mobility, freedom they can take away absolutely anything but that. And i will hold on to that until the day i die.

If people are given the opportunity they should jump to it and get the best they can life is too short to waste being lazy and ignorant.

Scribbles

2010-04-29T15:02:00.000+02:00

Stuff i wrote ages ago.

* 07/08/08

Writing is my best friend even if its just a sentence on a lonely piece of paper I feel as if i have burst out my emotions. Writing calms me down, helps me sleep at night it's the only thing i can rely on when i feel the need to speak. Growing up with no siblings and very few true friends has left me as lonely as a dog dumped away by his owner and eve if i have people who love me to death i still have issues on who to trust but when it comes to paper and pen I feel free loved and not judged. People think i'm a loner they think i'm proud and look down on others when actually i'm not. It makes me angry to know people talk behind my back and i'm sure writing can do me no harm. It is my shoulder to cry on and the friend I will confide in without fear of being let down. *

Wow reading that at this stage in life i've changed so much yet i feel the same on certain issues. I think the above is abit too pessimistic but it was the way i felt back then...

Society motivated by greed.

2010-04-28T11:46:00.000+02:00

Well this morning as usual I got up checking my facebook n’all and I started searching for some ideas of how I can get my hair done next… and I’m like worrying and stuff. Then I checked out some recorded tracks by a friend of mine dyna which I’ve known since junior lyceum. And after that I started listenin to pac. And it just hit me.

I feel so selfish and I really wish I could do something to help yet I feel so damn powerless. See while I’m thinking bout what hair colour I’m getting next, people are like dying all over the globe because they don’t have anything to eat. I’m dieting because summer is so very near and they don’t have food to sustain themselves or their children.

The world is so imbalanced and it seems like nobody could care less. Maybe its just my nature to feel guilty bout these things but I will definitely make sure that when I do graduate and start working I will give a percentage of my wage to help anyone who is in need even if its just one person. If only everyone would do this…

Faces

2010-04-28T00:32:00.000+02:00

I’m not really sure if it’s just me but i think everybody’s got that one [or more] thing that they’re obsessed with. I’m fascinated by too many things one of which is that i looooove looking at faces in profile strangely enough.

I am deeply interested in different human races and various facial features from all around the globe and i am amazed at how different faces in profile actually are.

When i look at my face in profile i notice that my nose is round with tiny nostrils my hair texture is straight my lower lip is slightly bigger and ive got a small forehead and loong eyelashes.

When you look at a typical African face in profile you will notice tick lips especially the lower one a tiny nose with wide nostrils curly hair and short curly eyelashes and the hairline makes the forehead look quite big which is appealing along with their defined facial features.

Asians have high defined cheek bones very straight hair very little eye lashes a very flat nose and beautiful thick lips.

Indians, Native Americans and Aborigines amongst so many others all have their own different facial features. Besides facial features I am highly fascinated by the different skin colours and how humans evolved to become so different in so many ways.

It is so interesting that our own facial features grant us that certain special identity which actually gives credit to our ancestors who actually made us who we are today. Every race is amazingly beautiful in different ways and nobody should judge... ever...its nothing but plain ignorance.

Is-Sirkin

2010-04-27T15:39:00.000+02:00

So today as i was walking back home on my own after some boring errands and as usual i walked past the famous CRYSTAL PALACE which is full of crystals i can assure you. Hahahahahah yeah he does make the best pastizzi [cheesecakes] on the island but the people who hang out there... they need a woman... and yes most of them are married with kids.

See these people i consider them as the typical easy going mediterreneans. Throught the ages us Mediterreneans have proved to be hard working and intelligent and proof of that are some of the oldest buildings which are actually situated in the Mediterrenean... mainly Egypt Greece Malta Rome yet lately we are lacking this hard work and intelligence and have become abit too easy going... whih is such a shame.

Anyways the men that hang out at crystal palace and similar places are usually either unemeployed, taking a break from work, working for the government or they just love pastizzi and want a cup of tea. I mean they are amongst the greatest men on earth with hearts of gold and wouldnt harm an insect but when in the company of each other and a young/middle aged/old woman passes by they just cant resist the urge to grab her attention even if its by the lamest ways that make her run hahaahhaha.

Aw gobon [hey cheese] is one of the worst ive ever heard... but these also include aw sex[hey sex], aw gisem [hey body] aw gilda [hey skin] and the list of immaginative names never ends.

These people can just argue about the lamest thing in the whole wide world and they could come up with something not even academics can. They are simple people some of which cant even write their own names whils others read the newspaper every day at this tiny dirty little shop they all hang out in.Besides the annoying ‘sssss’ sounds they make to grab a female’s attention being simple men with wrinkles and hands that can describe their whole life they are amongst the best people to go to when one needs to learn something bout life itself. I highly belive common people can actually teach you the most important lessons in life better than any academic.

Harmony - Delicate Balalnce

2010-04-27T01:11:00.000+02:00

Doesnt it feel that circumstances surrounding you sometimes grab hold of you the way the cold weather manages to freeze the ocean... covers it in ice...
Sometimes i feel like I’m loosing myself that way.
Sometimes i dont even have time to feel sexy anymore! Being a girl we all love to look good... well i know i do but sometimes more often than not i manage to think bout every other thing except myself. Everynow and then I wish I was 15 again thinking bout myself and my image friends and all the silly stuff teens think bout.
Then again ive always felt like an old woman trapped in a young girl’s body. I’ve always been so mature for my age eversince i was born i had to grow up fast and certain circumstances have made me the strong woman that I am today. Sometimess I wish i had better childhood but still when i reminice i smile and I thank whoever you want to call it... for meeting up with such different people coming from different backgrounds from whom ive leaned alot.
Stacey Patton an author i love once told me to write something everyday even if its just a sentence on a piece of Paper and eversince i stopped doing that i started loosing myself.
We all have to find different ways to find harmony with ourselves... mind heart body soul... and writing plays a big part in mine... i know too many lost souls and well im just not up for that! <3

Malta

2010-04-27T00:31:00.000+02:00

I was born in malta and lived all my life here... ive only travelled out of the country once [hopefully my second trip will be this summer] and i feel tied to my roots yet so different from traditionalists.

Malta is an amazing country fun to live in the climate is great, the people are great, the culture is great... but certain things make me jump. Can’t stand them...

Well first of all Malta is a tiny island with only bout 400,000 people living here. We’ve got deep heritage and our history is simply amazing. Besides a 300km Island compared to huge continents like America and australia we’ve got a language of our own which I am so very proud of.

The language is similar to arabic when foreigners listen to it but it is far more complicated that that and every word in Maltese has got a whole history combined to it.

And this brings me to certain Maltese people’s attitudes who tend to speak english or talk to their young children in English and looking down at people who speak Maltese. I think these people should really sort their minds out.

When i was a kid, since my mother never owned a car we only travelled by bus... oh typical Maltese busses (ill definately come back to them later..) i used to look at tons of British and American travelers exploring my homeland and laugh because i could understand every word they said whilst they couldnt understand a thing I said so that made me feel powerful and proud. There are so many people who can speak English so that does not make you feel special... you’re just one of the crowd... but speaking maltese is a minority hence being Maltese i embraced MY mother tonge.

Finally A Blog!

2010-04-27T00:23:00.000+02:00

I’ve always wanted to start a blog but ive always been too lazy... yeah i am like that i’m lazy and i tend to trick myself into beliving that ive got more time so relax and dont worry...

But lately ive been checking out some blogs and sarah carabott’s blog just gave me that little push i needed.

I love to write when im not talking... im such a chatterbox ive been called that since i was in year 6 with Mr spiteri who seemed to love every other student but me! Especially the boys.

Right now im in a lost state in life. In 2009 I enrolled myself to an education course in the university of Malta which i hated so after just 2 months i quitted. Now im studying Marketing at A level and im hoping to get a good grade so i can join another course.

But see thats a problem... i love journalism and i’m an (amateur) jounalist on a local radio statino in Malta and i loooooooooooove the job i mean it’s what i do best... talk and write... then again in Mala I dont think i get the opportunities im actually looking for. Everything in Malta is very local and being a dreamer like i am its limiting.

Sometimes i feel locked up in a cage and i cant seem to want to find an escape... im so close to my family that i cant really picture myself without them. So its such a double edged reality.